Life's Choices
by Bari Sax Player
Summary: Ever wonder why Severus decided to become a Death Eater in the first place? I know I do. Here's my take on what could have happened. Life is always full of difficult choices. Sometimes it's hard to know how YOUR choice might effect someone else.


**This pairing is by request...someone asked for some Snape/Lily smut so here it is.**

**Ever wonder why Severus decided to become a Death Eater in the first place? I know I do. Here's my take on what could have happed. Life is alway full of difficult choices. Sometimes it's hard to know how YOUR choice might effect someone else.**

**I hope you enjoy, please don't forget to review.**

Severus Snape leaned back in his chair and sipped from his glass of Old Ogden's. Staring around the shabby room, he sighed heavily. He had just celebrated his eighteenth birthday and he had no idea what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. Thanks to his father's untimely death the year before, he found himself the unwilling owner of his childhood home in Spinner's End. A home that was proving to be more trouble then it was worth. Costly repairs and unpaid property taxes were quickly draining him of the meager funds he earned brewing simple potions.

Setting his glass on the end table next to him he picked up the official looking parchments that lay there.

_**Dear Mr. Severus Snape.**_

_**On behalf of the Ministry of Magic we would like to offer our congratulations. You have received the highest NEWT scores in the history of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In recognition of this outstanding achievement we are pleased to present you with this Certificate of Honor. We wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.**_

_**Sincerely yours,**_

_**Millicent Bagnold**_

_**Minister of Magic.**_

Below that he read the handwritten note; _"The world is your oyster son, choose your path wisely. Albus Dumbledore."_

"Choose my path wisely." He muttered, tossing the documents aside and picking up his glass again. He had no idea what he wanted his path to be. He supposed he could teach, but that would still require him to apprentice with a Potions Master in order to obtain his license. Then there was the little issue of his supreme dislike of children.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, his mind wandered back to his most recent conversation with Lucius Malfoy.

"_Think of it Severus." Lucius said, his grey eyes flashing with excitement and passion. Severus couldn't remember every seeing Lucius so excited. "Power, wealth, woman, everything you have ever dreamed of or wanted. Oh please tell me you are not still pining over the ridiculous Mudblood." Lucius had seen the shadow cross over Severus' face at the mention of women. "She's a filthy cunt Severus. She chose Potter over you. She's not worthy of you. Under the Dark Lord you will have beautiful purebloods lining up just for the privilege of sucking your cock."_

_Severus flinched inwardly at the crudity of his friends words. "But I am not a pureblood." He said softly._

_Lucius waved his hand dismissively. "That is not common knowledge. You were in Slytherin. With your skill, intelligence and disposition I do not imagine that it will matter to the Dark Lord."_

"_All I really want to do is brew potions, Lucius." The dark haired wizard said, staring down at his hands._

"_And you can do that. For the Dark Lord. He will arrange for you to apprentice under the best Potions Master in our world."_

"_Severus." The blonde cried out in frustration at the look on his friend's face. A look he knew all to well. "Forget about her. She doesn't want you. She'll never want you. She's filth and she's not good enough to lick your boots." Flopping down in the chair next to him, Lucius eyed him critically. "You are still a virgin aren't you." He asked softly._

"_I fail to see how that question is pertinent to this conversation." Snape said, his face flushing darkly._

"_Oh but it is." Lucius purred. "Why don't I offer you just a small taste of what the Dark Lord can do for you. Bellatrix is here visiting. Why don't I call her and Narcissa and we can have a fun little foursome. It's time you experience the joy of a hot, willing pussy."_

"_Bellatrix is insane." Snape mumbled._

"_True. But she sucks cock like a banshee." Lucius laughed. "Hell Severus, I'll suck your dick for you if it will get you to stop sulking over that filthy Mudblood and join our cause."_

_Severus stood and straightened his robes. "I will take what you have said under advisement. But now I must be going."_

"_Don't leave." Lucius called after him. "I'll even let you fuck Narcissa."_

"_I said I'd think about it Lucius."_

A soft knock at his front door pulled Severus out of his thoughts. Rising he moved to the window and looked out. His eyes widened with shock when he recognized the figure standing there. With shaking hands he opened the door and stared out into the cold, dark night.

"Severus. I'm so sorry to just show up without calling. But I needed to see you, to talk to you."

"How did you know where to find me?"

"I heard about your father. May I come in?"

Severus nodded his head and moved aside as Lily Evans cautiously crossed over the threshold and into his living room. Her unique scent washed over him as she passed by removing her outer robes. It had been so long since he'd seen her, talked to her, touched her. Cursing himself a fool, his heart still ached with longing for her.

"I was very sorry to hear about your father, Severus." Lily whispered softly, staring up into his face. "Was there nothing you could do for him?"

"He didn't ask and I didn't offer.' Snape answered darkly. "He was a drunk, Lily. You know that. Why are you here?"

"Straight to the point as always Severus." She laughed nervously. "I'm here because I miss you. Because I can't stop thinking about you." His eyes widened as she took a step closer to him. "I'm here because I need you to make love to me."

"You…" His voice trailed off as the woman of his dreams stepped even closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You heard me Severus." She said, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I need you. Please don't say no."

His heart pounded wildly in his chest and his cock stiffened as Lily ran her hands down the front of his shirt. He grabbed her wrists, stopping her when she reached the waist band of his trousers. "Lily. I have never…..no one has ever…I don't….." He stuttered as she gently pulled her arms from his grasp.

"I know Sev. I know." She whispered as she unfastened his trousers and slowly slipped her hand inside. "Just be with me, let me be with you."

Severus gasped and shuddered as she reached inside his underwear and grasped him with her hand. His cock jumped and hardened even further as she gently stroked him. Still gazing up at him, Lily slowly lowered herself to her knees. Squeezing firmly, she pulled his cock out of the open front of his pants.

"Oh Merlin." He moaned as she tenderly licked him. His mind called out to him to stop her, this is wrong, you should discuss this with her first, but all rational thought went out of his mind as she took his cock into her warm, wet mouth. His legs buckled and threatened to give out at the sharp pleasure of her tongue rolling around the head of his penis. Never had he imagined that anything could feel so good. His eyes rolled back in his head as his balls throbbed painfully with his sudden and overwhelming need to come.

"Lily." He panted, grasping at her long red hair, frantically trying to push her face away. "It's too good. I can't….I can't…I'm….." He groaned loudly struggling to hold back his orgasm.

"Shhhhh Severus." She hummed gently, her lips still pressed to the head of his cock. "Just feel. It's okay." She lowered her mouth down on him again and he thought he could feel his cock touch the back of her throat.

"Oh Merlin." He groaned as she reached up and wrapped her hand around his balls, squeezing them gently.

"Oh fuck." He hissed as he lost the fight with his body. He shuddered violently as his cock erupted, shooting ropes of thick come into her mouth. His hips jerked and he grasped her shoulders to steady himself as waves of pleasure pulsed through his body. "Oh Lily." He moaned, as he gazed down at her and watched her swallow, drinking down his juices.

Climbing to her feet, Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his ear. "Take me to your bedroom Severus."

He took her hand in his and lead her up the stairs. When they entered his bedroom, she grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him into a seated position of the bed.

"Kiss me Severus." She whispered, leaning over him and pressing her mouth to his. He groaned when her lips touched his and her soft tongue entered his mouth to tangle passionately with his. He felt her hands on his chest slowly unbuttoning his shirt. His lips tried to follow hers as she broke the kiss and stepped back from him.

"Lily." He moaned, reaching for her.

"Shhhhh. Don't speak." He watched with fascination as she pulled her shirt over head and stood before him in an emerald green bra. Smiling shyly, she unfastened her jeans and slowly pushed them down her legs. Severus heart was pounding as he watched her reveal her body to him. He yanked his own shirt from his shoulders and tossed it away.

Standing before him in just her bra and knickers, Lily placed her arm across her breasts. Reaching behind with her other hand, she unhooked her bra and carefully eased the straps down her shoulders. Still hiding her breasts from his view, she tossed the garment to the side.

"Oh Lily." His eyes darkened at the sight of her nearly naked body. His hand lowered to gently rub his erection through his staining trousers.

Lily took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. His eyes drank in the sight of her naked breasts. "Do you like what you see Sev?" She whispered, nibbling on his earlobe."

"Oh yes." He groaned, his voice barely a whisper. "I have dreamed of this for so long."

Lily giggled and lowered her knickers, kicking them to the side. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she pushed him back to lie of the bed. Severus shivered as she ran her fingertips down his chest and over his stomach. When she reached the waistband of his trousers, she slowly unfastened them. Severus closed his eyes and raised his hips as Lily pushed his pants and boxers off his hips and down his legs. Growling, he sat up suddenly and grasped her around the waist, pulling her down to the bed.

"Lily." He moaned, pressing his lips to her neck. "I want you so much, have wanted you for so long. I have to touch you. Please, please let me touch you."

Lily grabbed his hand and placed it on her breast. "It's alright Sev. Touch me. Anywhere. Everywhere. I want you to."

Rising up to sit beside her, he let his eyes roam up and down her body, soaking in every beautiful inch of her naked flesh. Moving slowly, he ran his fingers over her torso, pausing to cup her breast tenderly in his large hand. Lily moaned and arched her back as his lips descended and carefully captured a hardening nipple. His tongue flicked gently at the pink bud. Kissing across her chest he placed his lips on her other nipple and sucked.

Using his fingers, lips and tongue Severus slowly and methodically explored Lily's body. A moment of insecurity gripped him as he kissed up her thigh and slowly eased her legs apart. Staring at her sex, a long forgotten conversation popped into his mind.

_He was thirteen years old and lounging in Lucius' room. As Head Boy, Lucius had a private room and Severus considered himself lucky to be welcomed into the older boy's inner sanctum._

"_Now if you want to drive a Witch wild." Lucius said, leaning back in his chair, his feet propped up on his bed. "You have to make sure you stroke the little man in the boat." He held the fingers of one hand up in a V and with his other hand poked just the tip of his finger out near the base of his fingers. Even with this visual, Severus still didn't understand, but he didn't want to appear naïve. "But you don't want to touch him too hard, she won't like that. Just pet him gently, roll him around in a circle, rub him and she will moan all over the place. If you really want to drive her crazy, give that little man a lick and a stroke with your tongue. She'll do anything you want if you do that."_

Tracing his finger along Lily's vaginal folds, Severus realized what Lucius had been describing. He could see a swollen tip protruding near the top of the V. Moving his hand, he gently rubbed his finger tip across it and was surprised to find it felt firm, wet and swollen.

He smiled and inwardly thanked Lucius when Lily bucked her hips and cried out his name. Lowering his head he touched the swollen nub with the tip of his tongue and was rewarded with Lily's cry of sheer ecstasy. Encouraged by the sounds she made and the sweet taste of her, Severus licked and rubbed with his tongue, judging the success or failure of his experimentation by Lily's responses.

"Oh Sev." She moaned, running her fingers through her long hair. "So good. That feels so good."

Taking his hand, he gently explored her until he found the hole to her center. Groaning inwardly, he pressed his finger inside, amazed at how hot, tight and wet she felt. His cock throbbed as he tried to imagine what it would feel like to sink himself inside her. Moving his finger slowly in and out, he thrilled at the sounds she was making.

"Oh Sev." She cried out loudly, pulling on his shoulders. "Fuck me. Please. I need to feel you inside me."

Climbing up her body, he positioned himself between her legs. He was both relieved and grateful when she reached between them and placed his cock at her entrance. Closing his eyes he thrust his hips forward.

"Uhhhhh." He cried out, exhaling a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. The feeling of her wet walls squeezing his cock made him feel weak and dizzy. He rested his head on her shoulder, his breath coming in labored pants.

"Sev. Are you okay?" Lily ran her hands down his back, stroking him gently.

"Yes." He panted. "It feels so good, so amazing. I never imagined anything could feel so good."

Lily clinched her muscles around his cock, causing him to cry out. "It can feel even better Sev, just move your hips."

With his face still buried in her shoulder he slowly began to thrust in and out of her tight heat. Pleasure radiated out from his groin and threatened to overwhelm him. He groaned when she gripped the cheeks of his arse and urged him on.

"Harder Sev, harder.. It feels so good."

Encouraged by her vocalizations, Severus pulled his hips back and thrust hard into her. He groaned at the intense feeling of her velvet walls wrapped around his cock.

"Oh." She moaned into his ear. "Harder, faster."

Flexing his back muscles, he pistoned his hips as fast as he could, slamming into her. He could feel his balls slapping against her skin. His mind was a fuzzy haze of pleasure and already he was struggling with his need to come.

"Lily." He groaned. "I can't take it. You feel so good."

He felt her nails dig into the cheeks of his arse and her hot breath panted across his shoulder. "Oh Sev. It's so good. I'm so close. Make me come."

Ignoring his own need, Severus focused on moving his cock in and out. She wrapped her legs around his waist and was meeting him thrust for thrust.

Suddenly he felt her shudder violently and his cock was grabbed in a viselike grip. Unable to hold back any longer, he thrust his cock deep inside her and felt himself explode with white hot pleasure. Through the haze of his own blinding orgasm he could hear Lily keening beneath him, lost in her own pleasure.

Severus groaned against her neck, his cock pumping and pumping as it emptied inside of her. He had never come this hard or this long in his life. Every muscle tingled with pleasure and he could feel himself trembling. When it was over, he felt out of breath and weak, his hands and feet tingled.

"Lily." He moaned softly, collapsing on top of her.

"Get off me, Sev you're heavy." Lily whispered, pushing on his shoulders.

Mumbling an apology, he rolled off her onto his back, his breath still coming in ragged gasps. His eyes opened as he felt Lily shift to the edge of the bed.

"What are you doing?" He asked, as she leaned down and began to gather her clothing.

"I have to go." She said softly. Severus felt a perceptible shift in the emotional atmosphere as Lily kept her back to him and pulled on her bra.

"Why?" He asked. He could feel tendrils of ice cold fear creeping up his spine and settling in his stomach.

Lily shrugged her shoulders and continued dressing. Severus rose from the bed and pulled his trousers over his hips, sitting back down, his eyes watched her every move.

"I'm going to marry James." Lily said, turning towards him, but still not looking at him.

Severus' stomach dropped and pain filled him. "Then why me…why did this happen?"

"I needed to know for sure." Lily said, raising her eyes to finally look at him. "Ever since he proposed I've found myself thinking about you. We have been friends for so long and I know….." She hesitated. "I know how you feel about me. I just wanted to be sure. Be sure he was the right one for me."

"And you're sure now?" His voice sounded flat, dead.

"I love him, Sev. Please don't be upset." She begged.

"Why would I be upset?" He asked. Rising slowly. he walked to window and stared out into the cold night. "Congratulation on your nuptials, now get out of my house."

"Sev…." Her voice carried a note of pleading.

"Please do not make me repeat myself." He said coldly. "You have made your choice now get out."

"I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you." She whispered when she reached the door.

Severus listened as her feet descended the stairs and the front door opened and closed. Peering out the window, he watched as she turned and disappeared. Walking back to his bed, he sank down, his hands covering his face as sobs wracked his body.

When he woke his head throbbed and his eyes felt swollen. He had no idea how long he'd been asleep and for a second he couldn't remember why he'd been crying. He moaned softly as the heartache and rejection filled him again with an almost unbearable pain. ]'

Standing up, he made his way to the lavatory and washed his face. Grabbing a shirt and a robe, he dressed quickly. Not knowing or caring how late it was, he spun on his heel, apparating away.

Lucius Malfoy answered the door on the fifth knock. His shirt hung open, revealing his toned chest, a glass of whiskey was clutched in his hand.

"Severus. What brings you here?" He slurred drunkenly.

"I'm sorry to arrive so late."

"Nonsense" Lucius said, waving his hand, spilling whiskey. "We're just having a little party. What can I do for you?"

"I would like to join." Severus' voice was flat and emotionless. "I would like to be Death Eater."

Lucius lips turned up in a sly smile. "Come in Severus, join the party. You've made a wise decision. I promise you won't regret it."

The End.


End file.
